Michael Pollan Earth Day Special

Hey everybody,

I didn't add "Why Bother" by Michael Pollan to this morning's links, but please read if you get the chance. Thoughtful, informative, and full of solutions, it's an excellent piece on how we as individuals can and do affect the environment.

Two excerpts:

1) "The climate-change crisis is at its very bottom a crisis of lifestyle — of character, even. The Big Problem is nothing more or less than the sum total of countless little everyday choices, most of them made by us (consumer spending represents 70 percent of our economy), and most of the rest of them made in the name of our needs and desires and preferences."

2) "The single greatest lesson the garden teaches is that our relationship to the planet need not be zero-sum, and that as long as the sun still shines and people still can plan and plant, think and do, we can, if we bother to try, find ways to provide for ourselves without diminishing the world."

Happy Earth Day!

Kris

Touchy Subjects: Confronting Loved Ones about Weight and Money Problems

Even in 2008, there are certain issues Not Discussed – problems we don’t bring up, lest they cause discomfort or even worse, hurt feelings. Two of the biggest, that affect most of us in our day-to-day existence, remain weight and money. All too often, we’re reluctant to talk about our own health and fiscal situations, never mind voicing concerns about a loved one’s. Yet, despite our reluctance to broach the subjects, none of us want a brother who dies at 45 of a heart attack or a grandma who has to panhandle for tea.

So, what do we do when a friend or family member’s financial or weight predicament threatens to spiral out of control? What do you say to your 65-year-old father who puts on 100 pounds in five years? How do you tell your mom you can’t support her if she has no savings when she retires? Simply, how do we confront a loved one about a problem that could seriously affect his or her well-being?

The short answer: be honest.

The long answer: well, read below.

See, I feel that dire, near-emergency health and money circumstances necessitate action, and that confrontation is vital when the stakes are that high. We waste so much time pussy-footing around out of propriety and politeness when open, caring communication might actually solve the dilemmas at hand. You absolutely don’t have to agree, though, and I’d love to hear from readers with differing opinions. (Er … and similar opinions, too. I like being agreed with.)

But before we kick off the DOs and DON’Ts of confrontation, know I’m not a psychologist, nutritionist, or financial planner. In other words, I’m not qualified IN THE LEAST to give this kind of advice. It comes from a combination of personal experience, total speculation, and a few hours of research. Use at your own risk, and holy moly, please don’t sue.

DO come from a place of concern. Why are you raising the issue? Is it out of personal gain or of genuine love and caring? The answer to these questions will dictate much about how you proceed.

DO make absolutely sure you want to go ahead with this. Serious weight and finance conversations are not the kind you want to have off the cuff. Self-worth, vanity, addiction, personal responsibility, stress levels, history, habit, family, and peer pressure are just a few of the exciting issues that can play into the discussion. If you’re willing to deal with them – aces. If not, perhaps there’s another solution.

DO consider approaching as a group (or at least taking a consensus). When multiple friends or family members raise an issue with a loved one, it can emphasize the urgency of a message and make it clear that more than one person sees the problem. (Strength in numbers and all.) However, before you sit down and talk, ensure that the group is all on the same page, with the same concerns and same positive solutions. You never want to dogpile on someone who’s probably already pretty down about herself.

DON’T cry wolf. A ten-pound gain and/or $200 debt aren’t tragedies. It’s when someone’s health or well-being are in serious danger you might want to raise a red flag. Calling out a minor bump in the road can cause resentment and make you seem like a busybody.

DON’T wait until the last minute. If you are truly concerned about someone’s weight or fiscal situation, the time to make your point isn’t during her foreclosure or his third bypass surgery. Voicing worries early can help prevent obstacles down the road.

DO time it right. Holidays and major life events cause enough stress as it is. Piling on, “Bro, I’m concerned about your six-figure credit card balance” won’t help. Pick a low-key afternoon or quiet lunch to start the conversation.

DON’T assume they don’t know already. Odds are that someone deep in debt or seriously overweight is 100% aware of his situation. What’s more, realizing that others are conscious of the predicament can be severely embarrassing. That’s why delicacy, sensitivity, and caring are the names of the game.

DO consider consulting a professional. If you’re feeling nervous or lost about where to begin, a therapist, doctor, or clergyperson can guide the way.

DO rehearse the conversation. Rushing into important talks without a clear idea of what to say can leave all participants confused and angry. Think about your message. Frame it honestly and positively. Practice delivering it in the kindest tone possible. Anticipate responses. This isn’t a debate, but going in with all your ducks in a row can only facilitate dialogue.

DON’T be judgey. You are not the moral authority here. Casting aspersions or telling someone her behavior is a result of personality failure can make her defensive, angry, and/or sad. Justifiably so. It also makes you a jackass.

DO be honest. Voice your concerns openly and kindly. Listen. Ask questions. Answer questions. If the situation affects you – like if your parents are flat broke and on the verge of retirement – say it.

DO speak wisely. Your choice of words could dictate everything about how the talk is going to go. “You’re an idiot with money!”/”Your behind is bigger than the sun!” will not get the discussion anywhere. Avoid insulting language.

DO use lots of “I” sentences. Relying on your own experiences is a great segue into talking about a loved one’s. Try it: “Ma and Pa, I recently became super-interested in my 401K. It’s really neat. How do you guys do yours?” or “Sis, I have a really hard time maintaining my weight. Can I talk to you about it?”

DO expect resistance, but take it in stride. “It’s none of your business,” “I’ll never lose 100 pounds,” or “Don’t you have your own money problems, Miss Unemployed Since Christmas?” are just a smattering of the exciting defensive responses you can anticipate when confronting a loved one about a major issue like this. Don’t take it as a personal attack. Accept it, make your points gently, and keep moving.

DO understand extenuating circumstances. Did this person just have a baby? Did someone close to her pass away? Did he have a car accident? Major life changes can have a profound impact on financial and physical health. Sometimes, they’ll take a lower priority to just getting through the day alive.

DON’T harp on it. Nagging gets no one anywhere, ever. I think my sister still smokes purely because I yell at her every time she does. Make your point and move on.

DON’T expect instant results. Understand that people change when they want to, not when you want them to. It’s one thing to express concern, it’s another to demand immediate satisfaction.

DO take baby steps. If your loved one is on the same page, offer assistance, and help them make incremental changes. Rome wasn’t built in a day, or even 40 days. It probably took decades, and even then, it wasn’t perfect. Weight and finance problems can take entire lifetimes to build up, and need additional days, months, and years to get better. Any progress is good progress.

And that’s it. But I’d love, Love, LOVE to hear readers’ opinions on this. Have you had to speak to a loved one about their weight or money? What did you do? How did it go? Have you tried any of these strategies? Did they work? What would you change for next time?

Finance, Food, and the Role of Personal Responsibility: A Question for Readers

I’d like to depart from the usual Wednesday-type articles today to pose a question to everybody out there: when it comes to diet and finance, how much do you think personal responsibility factors in?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, but it really picked up steam after dinner with my sister L. We struck up a conversation about money and food, since we’ve both been in debt and slightly overweight. I asked L if she thought there was a connection between the two. She answered with preternatural wisdom:

“When you’re resigned to the fact that you’re going to owe money, it doesn’t matter how much. When you’re resigned to the fact you’re going to gain weight – same thing.”

She’s right, too. When a situation becomes inescapable and oppressive, it often doesn’t matter how much more is piled on. To borrow a psychiatric term, we usually have to hit bottom before we actively decide to change. But how does this happen in the first place? Is it societal pressures? Or our own lack of awareness?

To read Maxed Out, James D. Scurlock’s treatise on the predatory credit industry, you’d think that we’re all being victimized, and debt is as culturally ingrained as closing our mouths when we chew. Undoubtedly, there’s some truth to this. Banks, credit card, and loan/mortgage companies make it their goal in life to profit from us as much as possible, whether or not we can actually afford it. They target us with advertising from birth, and all too often, exploit the uneducated and poor to bulk up their bottom lines. What’s more, the business of money is difficult to navigate, and it’s only getting harder. It’s easy to see why anyone could give up – why anyone just wouldn’t want to know – and I think the same principles apply to food marketing and weight.

On the flip side, many (if not most) finance and food blogs claim that personal responsibility is all you need to get by. Taking control and informing yourself will overcome negative cultural influences, a.k.a. those industries which profit from your increasing debt/waistline. In terms of programs that promote this concept, none are brought up more than Weight Watchers and Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University.

If the internet is to be believed, Dave Ramsey is second only to FDR in rescuing Americans from financial ruin, while Weight Watchers has turned a nation of 500-pound Krispy Kreme devotees into an army of lean, fit triathletes. (Slight exaggerations both, but you get the picture.) I believe this is because they do the following:

• Emphasize permanent lifestyle and behavioral change over temporary band-aids and quick-fix scams.
• Give people the information and tools to make changes.
• Ask people to take responsibility for their actions.

Admittedly, both Dave and WW have worked for me. And that colors my opinion.

I think weight and money have everything to do with personal responsibility. I think being unaware of what went into my mouth and came out of my wallet held me back in lots of ways. I think I can’t blame profit-driven industries for anything when I willingly bought into what they were selling me, without looking any deeper.

Of course, this doesn’t apply to everyone. I’m a middle-class, semi-educated white girl with no kids and no mortgage. My realm of experience is incredibly limited, which is why I’m VERY interested in opinions from readers. Assuming that weight and money are tied together...

• How much does personal responsibility factor in?
• How much do outside/industry pressures factor in?
• Do you have a good story?
• What are the solutions to either problem (obesity and/or debt)?

Comments are wide open, and I’d love to get a discussion going. Thanks for reading.

(Photos courtesy of smallbiztechnology.com, daveramsey.com, and jupiter images.)

Feed the World: Holiday Volunteering and Food Donations

(This’ll be my last Wednesday article for awhile, since next week is the Day After Christmas, and the week after that I’ll be somewhere in Rajasthan, India. [Fuh real!] Rachel, the Cheap Healthy Gourmet will be taking over for a week in my absence. Girl can COOK, so stay tuned!)

Once upon a time (1984), in a land far, far away (England), there lived a thin, dyspeptic pop star named Bob Geldof. Now, Bob was a good pop star, but at the time, fairly unknown in world-saving circles. Then, one day, he happened to stumble across a BBC report on the famine in Ethopia, where hundreds of thousands of poverty-stricken Africans were dying for lack of food and medicine. Shaken by the conditions of these poor, oppressed people, Bob decided to do something about it.

Using all his thin, dyspeptic pop star powers, young Geldof assembled a mighty group of famous U.K. musicians (Bono, Sting, Paul McCartney), not-quite-as-famous U.K. musicians (Jody Watley, Kool and the Gang), soon-to-be-infamous U.K. musicians (George Michael, Boy George), and dubbed them Band Aid. Together, they recorded “Do They Know it’s Christmas,” the most powerful charity Christmas song since “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” (which, as everyone knows, paid for Rudolph’s therapy following decades of emotional abuse by his fellow sleigh-pullers).

Ultimately, the accomplishments of “Do They Know it’s Christmas” are too numerous to mention, so I’ll attempt to sum. It:
A) Rocked the airwaves unlike any holiday tune before it,
B) Gave humanity the worst Christmas lyric of all time (“Tonight, thank god it's them instead of you.") and
C) Raised a humongous amount of cash for people who really needed it

Even now, 23 years later, Simon LeBon and various members of Bananarama are inspiring generations of Kmart shoppers and light FM listeners to consider donating to charity. And that’s what’s beautiful about “Do They Know it’s Christmas” - it’s an enduring reminder that innocent people are still suffering. While many of us are lucky enough to have families to visit, warm places to sleep, and good food to eat during the holidays, lots of folks don’t. And it’s important we do what we can, like young (now old) Geldof before us.

So, this Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Solstice or whatever, consider lending some time and/or hard-earned cash to charitable organizations around the globe. It will make many people very happy, and happy is good.

In fact, here are a few ideas to getchoo started. They’ve all been listed on the site before, and most have either been reported on fairly extensively or rated by Charity Navigator.

Happy holidays!

FEED THE TROOPS

Any Solider
Fulfill a soldier’s request for supplies, food, and ways to pass the time.

The USO
If you’d specifically like to send a care package, the aptly named Operation Care Package is the way to go. Check out their FAQ for more info, or just peruse the site, which is intuitive and informative

Treat the Troops
Jeanette Cram has baked over 640,000 cookies for soldiers overseas. Help her fund the effort.

FEED YOUR NEIGHBORS

The Food Trust’s Supermarket Campaign
Inner-city citizens need fresh food. The Supermarket Campaign is here to help.

Food Bank for New York City
FBNYC helps hungry Big Apple-ites in each of the five boroughs.

Donors Choose
Fund the activity/teacher of your choosing. I linked to the “food” ideas here, but really the whole site is worth a look.

The Society of St. Andrew
SoSA focuses on the distribution of healthy, inexpensive food (with an emphasis on produce) to hungry kids and families nationwide.

Second Harvest
The mother ship to hundreds of smaller food banks, Second Harvest feeds millions of hungry U.S. citizens a year.

God’s Love We Deliver
This is a tri-state area based volunteer group that buys, cooks, and delivers meals to seriously ill men, women, children.

Your local house of worship
Peruse the activities at your local shrine to see how you can pitch in.

FEED THE WORLD

Action Against Hunger
AAH assists the needy in more than 40 countries in Africa, Asia, and South America, with special focus on water and aid during crises.

American Red Cross
The mothership.