Parsley Shallot Sauce: The Glory of Green

My apologies for the last couple of days, dear readers. I’ve been horribly delinquent with the blog due to a combination of Easter, work, and trying to pick up “Lost” in its fourth season. (Note: not a good idea. Every 15 minutes or so an event transpires where The Boyfriend yells, “AUUUUGH! NO WAY!” and it’s like, a guy mopping or something. He assures me that it has gigantic meaning in the context of the series, but … mopping. Yeah.)

Anyway, we were down in Virginia this past weekend to visit his family/play Throw the Rock with his gobsmackingly adorable nephew. (Seriously, this kid makes Suri Cruise look like the Elephant Man.) ‘Twas a lovely time, as it’s a lovely place, and they’re lovely people (also: cutthroat card players). And while there were many highlights, my favorite was a conversation with a local three-year-old, during which I learned the following:

1) “The Eastew Bunny was heah last night.”
2) “I have DIAWHHEA.”
3) “Diawwhea HUWTS.”

Too true, kid. Too true.

All the festivities kept me from cooking anything, much less anything resembling health food. Fortunately, I had a banked recipe in my back pocket for just such an occasion. (Note: not literally. A back pocket full of recipes would be silly, not to mention hard to sit on.)

A few weeks ago, The Boyfriend and I were experimenting with pork. We made Ellie Krieger’s Herb Roasted Pork Loin with Parsley Shallot Sauce twice, and both times, the roast was unbearably dry. It was a shame, because the Parsley Shallot Sauce was really, really, really fargin’ good. So good, in fact, we both ate it with a spoon afterward. And usually it’s just me doing that.

Two pig-based meals later, we finally got the cooking methods and temperatures down for the pork (seen here). Alas, we had moved on to other toppings. Well – now, Parsley Shallot Sauce gets its due. The recipe is listed below in all its green majesty, awaiting your roast. I promise, at the very least, it will not give you diawhhea. Because that would huwt.

(Oh yeah - please note that I only made a third of a batch [listed here] because it’s just TB and I eating. The proportions on Ellie’s site are designed to serve a much larger crowd.)

Parsley Shallot Sauce
Makes 3 servings (good enough for a 1-lb roast)
Adapted from Ellie Krieger.

1/2 cups lightly packed flat-leaf parsley leaves
2 teaspoons coarsely chopped shallot
1 tablespoons Dijon mustard
2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 teaspoons water
2/3 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
1/16 teaspoon salt
Freshly ground black pepper

1) Add all ingredients to a blender. Puree until pretty smooth. Serve over pork, as prepared here. 

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
38 calories, 4.7 g fat, $0.44

Calculations
1/2 cups lightly packed flat-leaf parsley leaves: 11 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.66
2 teaspoons coarsely chopped shallot: 5 calories, 0 g fat, $0.25
1 tablespoons Dijon mustard: 15 calories, 0 g fat, $0.17
2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil: 79 calories, 8.9 g fat, $0.06
2 teaspoons water: negligible calories and fat, free
2/3 teaspoons fresh lemon juice: 3 calories, 0 g fat, $0.17
1/16 teaspoon salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
Freshly ground black pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
TOTAL: 113 calories, 14.1 g fat, $1.33
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): 38 calories, 4.7 g fat, $0.44

White Tang: Cooking Light's Creamy Caesar Dressing

[Apologies to the estate of Jack London for the punny title. Ultimately, it won out over “The Call of the White-ld (Dressing).”]

Having attended approximately 48,344 weddings in the last ten years, I’ve had my fair share of Caesar salads. (And penne a la vodka.) (And chicken francese.) (And “Butterfly Kisses,” which is not a food, but rather the most overplayed, maudlin piece of treacle in the entire history of music. I barf on Bob Carlisle.)

Where was I? Oh yeah – Caesar salad. I’ve consumed many, and few have stuck out as anything more than “meh.” I’m not sure if that’s the nature of the dish (“It’s a Caesar salad. Whadja want, Lobster Thermidore?”), or subpar efforts on behalf of 98% of the food service industry. Too many restaurants and catering halls seem to believe that limp romaine + stale croutons + $0.99 bottled dressing = culinary tour de force.

I call fie on this. (Fie!) A good Caesar salad requires glorious parmesan, a sophisticated lemony-olive oil flavor, and dressing that doesn’t taste like the backwash of the damned.

Cooking Light’s Creamy Caesar Dressing takes care of that last requirement quite nicely. With a ten-minute prep time and a short list of readily available ingredients, it's a quick complement to a classy salad base. At $0.11 per serving, it's comparable to nicer bottled dressings in price, though the taste is fresher and way livelier. Two notes:

1) Tangy doesn’t begin to describe, so feel free to reduce the lemon juice a tad.

2) I used low-fat yogurt instead of the fat-free variety, and it worked fine.

Cooking Light graciously provided the nutritional information, so only price calculations are included below.

Creamy Caesar Dressing
Makes 8 servings of 1 tablespoon each
Adapted from Cooking Light.

1/3 cup plain fat-free yogurt
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 teaspoons red wine vinegar
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon anchovy paste
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1 garlic clove, minced

1) Whisk all ingredients together in a small bowl. Pour on salad. That's it.

Approximate Calories, Fat and Price per Serving
26 calories, 1.8 g fat, $0.11

Calculations
1/3 cup plain fat-free yogurt: $0.23
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice: $0.25
1 tablespoon olive oil: $0.08
2 teaspoons red wine vinegar: $0.05
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce: $0.10
1 teaspoon anchovy paste: $0.12
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard: $0.06
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper: $0.02
1 garlic clove, minced: $0.02
TOTAL: $0.88
PER SERVING (TOTAL/8): $0.11

CI’s Orange-Sesame Stir-Fry Sauce: Just When I Thought I Was Out

Right before my senior year of college, I successfully executed my very first stir-fry for my friends J and B. Thinking back, I’m sure it was fairly basic: bottled marinade, some peppers, an onion, and probably some chicken. Yet, I was SO proud. Embarrassingly proud. Prouder than I was at my actual graduation. (And I had three majors! But one was Communication, which is kind of like majoring in T.V. and Beer. Anyway…)

Nowadays, I still rely on stir-fry when time is tight and ingredients are low. They’re incredibly quick, infinitely protean, and skimping on oil doesn’t make a crazy difference in the taste. Their one drawback is the cost of semi-decent sauces. The cheap ones are full of high fructose corn syrup and preservatives. The expensive ones are … well, expensive.

Enter Cook’s Illustrated Best 30-Minute Recipe, a cookbook I swore to back away from for awhile. (I lied.) On page 102, the editors have a five-recipe list of stir-fry sauces you can make from everyday kitchen staples. A few weeks ago, I highlighted the Sweet and Sour variety (also good for dipping!) Last night, I tried the Orange Sesame, which shall henceforth be called “Awesome Sauce,” a la Tenacious D.

Here’s how it went: first, I steamed 2/3rd cup broccoli in a shallow pan for about 4 minutes, until they were crisp-tender. (The water had evaporated, so there was no need to drain.) Then, over medium heat, I added a ¼ teaspoon of sesame oil and sautéed ¼ teaspoon of grated ginger and ¼ teaspoon of minced garlic for about 30 seconds. Finally, a ¼ cup of Awesome Sauce went in. It took about three minutes to thicken, but when it did …

So. Good.

My apartment still smells like a high-class Chinese joint, which is very different from the coffee-and-dust scent it usually sports. The Boyfriend gave Awesome Sauce a wide-eyed “Mm!” of approval as well, and it’s definitely on the short list for V-Day this Thursday. Plus? One serving costs a grand total of $0.19. I’m over the moon.

In the coming weeks, I’ll really, honest-to-goodness attempt to put the CI book down (even though we tried the Cold Sesame Noodles with Shredded Chicken, and it, too, transcends mere food). So, you can expect recipes from other places. Like …

Or maybe …

And then there’s …

Okay. No promises.

Orange-Sesame Stir-Fry Sauce
Makes enough for 4 servings of stir-fry (1 lb protein + 1-1/2 lbs vegetables)
Adapted from Cook's Illustrated Best 30-Minute Recipe.

½ cup orange juice
¼ cup soy sauce
¼ cup low-sodium chicken broth
2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil (I used regular sesame oil and it worked well. – Kris)
2 teaspoons cornstarch

1) Mix all ingredients. In a bowl. Thoroughly. With a whisk, if you like. Add it towards the end of any stir-fry and heat to thicken. You won't be sorry.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
53 calories, 2.5 g fat, $0.19

Calculations
½ cup orange juice: 55 calories, 0 g fat, $0.16
¼ cup soy sauce: 34 calories, 0 g fat, $0.38
¼ cup low-sodium chicken broth: 22 calories, 0.75 g fat, $0.06
2 teaspoons toasted (or regular – Kris) sesame oil: 80 calories, 9 g fat, $0.12
2 teaspoons cornstarch: 20 calories, 0 g fat, $0.02
TOTAL: 211 calories, 9.75 g fat, $0.74
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 53 calories, 2.5 g fat, $0.19

A Tale of Two Tomato Salsas (The Super Bowl is Nigh)

With my bud D’s Super Bowl party a mere two days away, I thought yesterday would be a good time to prep my second contribution to the buffet table. (The first being Lightened Seven-Layer Taco Dip). Since salsa is simple to make, healthy by design, and beloved by all, it was a logical choice. Problem was, the produce at my local supermarket was looking less than stellar. So, I turned to canned tomatoes. And All Recipe.

Fresh Salsa 1 was the proud recipient of a 4-1/2 star rating and multiple rave reviews on the site, many of which mentioned its high heat level. Knowing that some friends would find super-spicy food inedible, I had to make a second batch with a few changes. It became kind of a contest. Whose version would taste better? Which would produce more salsa? Could I handle three pounds of tomatoes without spilling any on The Boyfriend’s Transformers t-shirt? (Answer: only Optimus Prime knows for sure.)

Thus, Salsa-off 2008 was born. I made the All Recipes formula exactly like the directions told me. Then, I tasted it and changed the following for my version:

• Drained the whole peeled tomatoes for a chunkier consistency.
• Decreased the onion and jalapeno for a milder heat.
• Sautéed the garlic in a bit of olive oil to add depth.
• Added a teaspoon of lime juice for freshness.

I sampled both salsas immediately after pureeing and then again about three hours later, after they had time to meld in the fridge. The results were good all around, but let’s compare.

Taste: I liked mine better. (Not that I’m biased.) While appetizing and definitely worth serving, the All Recipes salsa was very, very hot – too hot almost, and I’m fairly accustomed to spicy food. My milder version had a stronger, smoother garlic flavor, which I could actually detect since it wasn’t overwhelmed by scorchingosity.

Volume: All Recipes wins this one, hands down. Draining the whole peeled tomatoes meant my recipe only produced 1-1/2 cups of salsa. All Recipes almost doubled that. I got the flavor and slightly chunkier consistency I was looking for, but at the cost of serving a few more people.

Price: The total prices are within a dime of each other, but it’s two cents cheaper per serving to make the All Recipes salsa, since it produces more.

Even though there’s no clear victor, I’m ultimately chalking this experiment up in the win column. Each recipe would do Chris Berman proud, and you might even consider making both for Sunday. All Recipes provided nutritional information, so my calculations below are for price only. Everything else is per usual.

And thus ends Super Bowl Week. Hope everyone has a good game, and I’ll see you back here on Monday for more cheap, healthy goodness.

(Oh, also? Go Blue!)

FRESH SALSA 1
Makes 2-3/4 cups or 44 servings at 1 Tablespoon each
Adapted from All Recipes.

2 jalapeno chile peppers
2-1/2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1/2 onion, finely chopped
1/2 tablespoon white sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground cumin
5-oz diced tomatoes with green chile peppers
14 oz. whole peeled tomatoes with liquid

1) Preheat oven to 400°F. Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil.

2) Roast jalapenos on cookie sheet for 15 minutes. Let cool a little, then cut stems off.

3) Pulse jalapenos, garlic, onion, sugar, salt, cumin, and diced tomatoes with green chiles in a blender or food processor, until somewhat chunky. Add whole peeled tomatoes and pulse again until it reaches a consistency you like. Store in a covered bowl in the fridge until ready to serve.

Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
7 calories, 0 g fat, $0.04

Calculations
2 jalapeno chile peppers: $0.35
2-1/2 cloves garlic, finely chopped: $0.12
1/2 onion, finely chopped: $0.08
1/2 tablespoon white sugar: $0.01
1/2 teaspoon salt: $0.01
1/8 teaspoon ground cumin: $0.01
5-oz diced tomatoes with green chile peppers: $0.46
14 oz. whole peeled tomatoes: $0.65
TOTAL: $1.67
PER SERVING (TOTAL/44): $0.04

~~~

FRESH SALSA 1 (CHG version)
Makes 1-1/2 cups or 24 servings at 1 Tablespoon each

1 jalapeno chile pepper
½ t extra virgin olive oil
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1/8 onion, finely chopped
1/2 tablespoon white sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground cumin
5-oz diced tomatoes with green chile peppers
14 oz. whole peeled tomatoes, drained
1 teaspoon lime juice
cilantro (if desired)

1) Preheat oven to 400°F. Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil.

2) Roast jalapenos on cookie sheet for 15 minutes. Let cool a little, then cut stems off.

3) Heat olive oil over medium heat on a small pan. Cook chopped garlic until just before it starts to brown.

4) Pulse jalapenos, garlic, onion, sugar, salt, cumin, and diced tomatoes with green chiles in a blender or food processor, until somewhat chunky. Add whole peeled tomatoes and lime juice and pulse again until it reaches a consistency you like. Store in a covered bowl in the fridge until ready to serve.

Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
5 calories, 0 g fat, $0.06

Calculations
1 jalapeno chile pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.17
½ t extra virgin olive oil: 20 calories, 2.2 g fat, $0.02
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped: 9 calories, 0 g fat, $0.10
1/8 onion, finely chopped: 6 calories, 0 g fat, $0.04
1/2 tablespoon white sugar: 23 calories, 0 g fat, $0.01
1/2 teaspoon salt: negligible fat and calories, $0.01
1/8 teaspoon ground cumin: negligible fat and calories, $0.01
5-oz diced tomatoes with green chile peppers: 30 calories, 0 g fat, $0.46
14 oz. whole peeled tomatoes, drained: 66 calories, 0 g fat, $0.65
1 teaspoon lime juice: 3 calories, 0 g fat, $0.04
cilantro (if desired): negligible calories and fat, $0.33
TOTAL: 117 calories, 2.2 g fat, $1.54
PER SERVING (TOTAL/24): 5 calories, 0 g fat, $0.06

Cheap Healthy Party Food

With the big Giants/Pats showdown only four days away, it’s time to start thinking about food. What should you bring to a get-together? What will you serve at your own shindig? How can you keep from gaining 14 pounds in a single afternoon?

That’s where Cheap Healthy Party Food comes in. Gathered from five prominent websites, the following 60 recipes are less expensive, healthier alternatives to the chips/dips/wings combo typical of Super Bowl Sunday. Plus, as it’s a football game (THE football game), all the dishes are party-friendly. There is no spa food, and nary a spinach salad or fat-free flaxseed muffin to be found. Instead, the list is chock full of chicken, chili, pizza, and pie, just in lower-calorie incarnations.

To everything, there is a process, and my first step in compiling this list was narrowing down my source websites. (It’s a big internet out there, man.) I decided each one had to have A) lots of health-minded options, B) an easy search function, and C) reliable recipe reviews. After some consideration, I settled on All Recipes, Cooking Light, Eating Well, Epicurious and Food Network. (Oh, and Cheap Healthy Good. Hooray for self-promotion!)

Still, I was left with a ton of possibilities. So next, I had to come up with food criteria. It wasn’t easy, and unlike the Beef/Pork/Fish posts, my methods weren’t exactly scientific. But I eventually settled on the following:

• Each dish had to contain at least four servings.
• Recipes could not incorporate more than one semi-pricy ingredient. (A frequent issue with Epicurious.)
• Fat and calorie content had to be healthy relative to serving size. An 800-calorie stuffed mushroom recipe looks great until you realize is it only makes six mushrooms. (A frequent issue with Cooking Light.)
• The food couldn’t look repulsive in pictures. (A frequent issue with All Recipe.)
• Recipes had to have at least an 87% review rating (3.5 forks on Eating Well, 5 stars on Food Network, etc).
• Dishes had to be appropriate for parties where huge, hairy fathers of three paint their bare chests with Tedy Bruschi’s jersey number.

With all that in mind, I commenced searching. And the results? Are pretty sweet. John Madden would approve.

(As always, read the reviews for cooking and serving suggestions.)

APPETIZERS
All Recipes: Chicken Satay
All Recipes: Pita Chips
All Recipes: Garden Veggie Pizza Squares
All Recipes: Savory Crab Stuffed Mushrooms
CHG: Lightened Seven Layer Taco Dip
Cooking Light: Adobo Chips with Warm Goat Cheese and Cilantro Salsa
Cooking Light: Cheddar with Sauteed Apples and Brown Bread
Cooking Light: Goat Cheese Crostini
Cooking Light: Pinto Bean Nachos
Cooking Light: Starry Snack Mix
Eating Well: Boneless Buffalo Wings
Food Network: Chili Chips
Food Network: Parmesan Pita Toast Strips

DIPS, SALSAS, DRESSINGS and SPREADS
All Recipes: Avocado Mango Salsa (use gloves when working with habaneros)
All Recipes: Black Bean Hummus
All Recipes: Fresh Salsa 1
All Recipes: Spicy Bean Salsa (use low-fat dressing)
All Recipes: Sweet and Sour Sauce
All Recipes: Tequila Cocktail Sauce
CHG: Lemony Light Hummus
Cooking Light: Creamy Artichoke Dip
Cooking Light: Spicy Roasted Red Pepper and Bean Dip
Eating Well: Hot Artichoke Dip
Epicurious: Habanero Chile Salsa (use gloves when working with habaneros)
Food Network: Ranch Dressing
Food Network: White Bean Dip

MEAT MAINS
All Recipes: Hawaiian Chicken Kabobs
All Recipes: Pineapple Chicken Tenders
All Recipes: Yummy Honey Chicken Kebabs
Cooking Light: Ancho, Beef, and Kidney Bean Chili
Cooking Light: Mexican Black Bean Chili
Cooking Light: Real Texas Chili
Eating Well: Chicken Chili with Hominy
Eating Well: Pulled Pork
Eating Well: Thai Chicken Pizza
Food Network: Buffalo Chicken Salad
Food Network: Chicken Chili
Food Network: Chili on Rice
Food Network: Mambo Chicken with Mango Salsa
Food Network: Middle Eastern Chicken Burgers
Food Network: Oven Fried Chicken
Food Network: Sloppy Joes
Food Network: Stuffed Turkey Burgers
Food Network: Three Bean and Beef Chili

SIDES
Cooking Light: Apple Slaw
Cooking Light: Beer Battered Onion Rings
Cooking Light: Cheese Fries
Cooking Light: Classic Potato Salad
Eating Well: Wholesome Corn Bread
Epicurious: Roasted Sweet Potato Slices
Food Network: Grilled Red Onions
Food Network: Black Bean Salad
Food Network: Baked Smoked Chili Fries

DESSERTS
Cooking Light: Frozen Butterfinger Pie
Cooking Light: Fudgy Sheet Cake
Cooking Light: Oatmeal Spice Cookies
Epicurious: Apple Pie
Epicurious: Mini Chocolate Cupcakes
Food Network: Chocolate Vanilla Swirl Pound Cake
Food Network: Carrot Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting
Food Network: Coffee Angel Food Cake

CHG’s Super Bowl Week isn’t over yet, so tune in tomorrow for Favorites of the Week, and then again on Friday for A Tale of Two Salsas. (Mmm … Dickensian.)

Lightened Seven-Layer Taco Dip: A Super Bowl OF FLAVOR

As a nutritionally minded blogger, I normally advocate fresh, whole, prepared-from-scratch meals in modest proportions.

But, dude. The Super Bowl’s coming.

With the possible exception of Thanksgiving, no other event requires Americans to consume their body weight in onion dip. Nor can I think of another quasi-holiday where quesadillas are designated as health food. Sure, your party of choice might have a token crudite platter buried behind the wings, but essentially, Super Bowl Sunday is to diets what Lawrence Taylor was to Joe Theismann’s leg. (Caution: this video might kill you.)

Yet, us weight-conscious folks need options come February 3rd. And that’s where Lightened Seven-Layer Taco Dip comes in. I got the original dish straight off AllRecipes last year, but subbed in reduced-fat and fat-free ingredients, which saved 30 calories and 4 grams of fat per serving. Fortunately, there were so many loud, proudly competing flavors nobody could tell the difference. I’m making it again this year. And while the initial expenditure might look daunting (see Calculations below), just know three things:

1) With 56 servings, this is a hulking behemoth of food. It is the Mount Kilimanjaro of taco dips. If it was people, it’d be William “The Refrigerator” Perry bear-hugging John Goodman. Last year, my friends N and I barely put a dent in it, and they once downed a Ben & Jerry’s Vermonster by themselves.

2) There are ways (WAYS!) to save a little extra dough. This year, I’m going to buy ingredients on sale, make my own taco seasoning (total cost: about a quarter) and shred a block of Kraft Cheddar with my grater. Depending on how much I buy the block for, it will probably run $0.50 to $1.00 less than a bag. Good times.

3) I live in Brooklyn. Even when bargain priced, everything is more expensive here. Except maybe Chinese food.

If you’re interested in keeping it extra-healthy, the dip can be paired with self-baked tortilla chips or possibly celery. (Which, eat quickly, because people will inevitably bogart the veggies for their hot wings.)

On a final note, the rest of this week is being dedicated to Sunday’s game. Tune in tomorrow for some pigskin-appropriate links, and then again on Wednesday for a monster list of cheap, healthy Super Bowl fare. After that, it’s Thursday’s Football Favorites of the Week. Friday is anyone’s guess, but there are seven lonely leftover jalapenos sitting in my fridge. Suggestions are most definitely welcome.

Lightened Seven Layer Taco Dip
56 servings (seriously)
Adapted from All Recipes.

1-oz. package taco seasoning mix (or make your own )
16-oz. can fat-free refried beans
8-oz. package fat-free cream cheese, softened
16-oz. container fat-free sour cream
16-oz. jar salsa
1 large tomato, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 bunch chopped green onions
1 small head iceberg lettuce, shredded
6-oz. can sliced black olives, drained
2 cups reduced-fat shredded Cheddar cheese (or shred your own 8-oz bar)

1) In a medium bowl, mix taco seasoning thoroughly with refried beans. Transfer it to a large platter or bowl, spreading it out on the bottom

2) In a separate medium bowl, mix sour cream and cream cheese. Pour it over refried beans and spread.

3) Pour salsa over sour cream/cream cheese mixture. Spread out. Then, layer with: tomato, bell pepper, onions and lettuce. Finish with cheese and sprinkle olives over everything.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
36 calories, 1 g fat, $0.25

Calculations
1 (1 ounce) package taco seasoning mix: 45 calories, 0 g fat, $0.25
1 (16 ounce) can fat-free refried beans: 385 calories, 0 g fat, $0.89
1 (8 ounce) package fat-free cream cheese, softened: 218 calories, 3.1 g fat, $2.69
1 (16 ounce) container fat-free sour cream: 336 calories, 0 g fat, $1.20
1 (16 ounce) jar salsa: 123 calories, 0.7 g fat, $1.50
1 large tomato: 22 calories, 0.2 g fat, $1.00
1 green bell pepper: 24 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.50
1 bunch chopped green onions: 32 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.79
1 small head iceberg lettuce: 45 calories, 0.5 g fat, $0.99
1 (6 ounce) can sliced black olives: 80 calories, 6 g fat, $1.49
2 cups reduced-fat shredded Cheddar cheese: 720 calories, 48 g fat, $2.50
TOTAL: 2030 calories, 58.8 g fat, $13.80
PER SERVING (TOTAL/56): 36 calories, 1 g fat, $0.25

Lollappleooza Day 1: Ma’s Chunky Applesauce

One week.

Two people.

69 apples. (Hee. 69.)

Let the games begin!

As mentioned last week, today officially kicks off Lollappleooza, CHG’s week-long celebration of autumn’s, uh, reddest fruit. In its honor, I’m starting with one of my all-time favorite recipes: my Ma’s applesauce.

Now, Ma’s not a four-star chef, but she knows her way around a stove. And when it comes to her specialties (applesauce, sweet potato casserole, lasagna, and Christmas cookies), no one dares cross her. Partially because the dishes are hard to top, and partially because she might stab you. (*stares weepily at scar from Snickerdoodle Incident*)

Over the years, Ma’s applesauce has become a Thanksgiving fixture, ranking only below Pa’s stuffing on the Must Eat list. She spices it just right and goes easy on the brown sugar, since she’s fully aware that apples stand fine on their own. (Um, don’t challenge her on this. Again with the stabbing.) Plus, she doesn’t puree it (thank jeebus), just goes to town with the potato masher, leaving us with a chunky, funky-in-a-good-way compliment to Alton Brown’s Roast Turkey.

So, make Ma happy. Next time you're feeling like a quick sauce, a kiddie side, or even a topping for pork or chicken, give it a try. I promise - no stabbing.

Ma’s Chunky Applesauce
Make 3 cups – ½ cup each serving

9 medium MacIntosh or Cortland apples, peeled, cored, and chopped into chunks
2 T water
3 T unpacked brown sugar
Cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice to taste

1) Heat everything in a pot or dutch oven on medium for 30 minutes or until apples are mushy. Stir occasionally.

2) When time is up, mash to desired consistency with potato masher. Serve hot or cold.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
90 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.45

Calculations
9 medium apples: 540 calories, 1.4 g fat, $2.61
2 T water: negligible calories and fat, FREE
3 T unpacked brown sugar: 102 calories, 0 g fat $0.08
Cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice to taste: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
TOTAL: 542 calories, 1.4 g fat, $2.70
PER SERVING (TOTAL/6): 90 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.45

Lollappleooza Preview: All Night Apple Butter

Spurred by the changing of the leaves and a temporary onset of insanity, The Boyfriend and I (along with every four-year-old in Brooklyn) went apple picking last weekend. We spent two hours in the 85°F "autumn," and came home with head colds and almost six dozen pieces of fruit. Since there was no way we were going to finish them one by one (the apples, not the head colds), I had to start cooking. Fast.

Thus, Lollappleooza was born.

(Yay! Plays on words!)

Kicking off October 15th, Lollappleooza will be a five day hootenanny of apple recipes, links, and frugality strategies. It will be the ultimate apple guide, a convergence of the finest apple-related frippery the blogosphere has to offer. It will also help me use up 69 apples.

Which, speaking of…

Shortly after arriving home, I found AllRecipes’ All Day Apple Butter, which needs its title changed to Why You Should Always Read the Reviews Butter. The recipe called for five pounds of apples aided and abetted by a staggering four cups of sugar. Yoinks. Most AllRecipe commentors agreed this gave the spread a lollipop-like sweetness, much too cloying for the average bear. A bunch ended up cutting the sugar in half, to way better results. Increasing the spices and extending the crock potting time were suggested, too, and both turned out to be really good calls.

I followed all the advice, and in the end, my version was still sweet, but not gag-inducingly so. The apples shone through, and the cinnamon and cloves made it much kickier than store-bought apple butters. Though I might tone the sugar down even more next time, I’d happily spread this on toast or pumpkin bread. I might even lick it off my fingers. I would definitely do everything in this Chowhound thread.

P.S. Don’t forget! Lollappleooza starts Monday! I promise you won't need tickets, and don’t have to join Greenpeace (unless you want to). Hope to see you there.

All Night Apple Butter
Makes 2-1/2 cups or 40 Tablespoons
Adapted from All Recipes.

2-3/4 lbs MacIntosh or Cortland apples (about 10 medium), peeled, cored, and chopped into tiny pieces
Scant 2/3rd cup unpacked brown sugar
Scant 2/3rd cup granulated white sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Heaping 1/8th teaspoon cloves
1/4th teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/8th teaspoon salt

1) Combine dry ingredients in a bowl. Mix well.

2) Pour all ingredients into 3-1/2 qt. slow cooker. Mix well.

3) Cook on high for 1 hour. Stir. Mash slightly with potato masher.

4) Cook on low 9-12 hours. Stir. Mash with potato masher.

5) Cook an additional 2 hours with cover off. Stir. Mash with potato masher to desired consistency.

6) Leave overnight in the fridge for optimum taste.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
37 calories, 0 g fat, $0.10

Calculations
2-3/4 lbs apples: 600 calories, 1.6 g fat, $2.90
Scant 2/3rd cup unpacked brown sugar: 364 calories, 0 g fat, $0.25
Scant 2/3rd cup granulated white sugar: 511 calories, 0 g fat, $0.21
Heaping 1 teaspoon cinnamon: negligible fat and calories, $0.03
Heaping 1/8th teaspoon cloves: negligible fat and calories, $0.02
¼ teaspoon pumpkin pie spice: negligible fat and calories, $0.02
1/8th teaspoon salt: negligible fat and calories, $0.01
TOTAL: 1475 calories, 1.6 g fat, $3.80
PER SERVING (TOTAL/40): 37 calories, 0 g fat, $0.10