Low-Fat Broccoli Cheddar Soup: Of Cheese and Rock

Wednesday night, The Boyfriend and I jaunted off to Queens to play Rock Band with our friends A and A. I’m not a big video game fan, preferring to read, socialize, or hit myself in the head with a mallet. That said, Rock Band was the most incredibly fun game in the history of America, time, and space. Seriously, playing skee ball on a roller coaster in Oz wouldn’t even compare. I got to strum bass to a Pixies song, bang drums to an R.E.M. classic, and discovered that my vocal range most resembles that of ‘70s-era Ozzy Osbourne. Which, frankly, is a tad uncomfortable, but good to know for future karaoke parties/Black Sabbath auditions.

Our impromptu evening of RAWK curbed my cooking plans, so I was forced to make Cook’s Country Low-Fat Broccoli Cheddar Soup late last night instead. (And lemme tell you - nothing endears you to a roommate faster than running a blender at 11pm.) The soup is part of my self-imposed Use More Cheese mandate, as one of the drawbacks of writing a healthy cooking blog is the general absence of face-loving, soul-warming, high-in-fat foods like bacon, chocolate, cheese, and bacony chocolate cheese. Cooking Light’s Fresh Tomato Lasagna, Cheesy Eggplant Bake, and Light Mac and Cheese have also been also part of the effort.

Which brings us back to the soup. I liked it! It made a healthy, gloriously green side or main course, with enough frommage-y goodness to keep me from feeling like I was drinking a salad. There are, as always, a few notes:

1) Leeks are dirty, dirty birds, so they have to be cleaned pretty thoroughly before adding to a recipe. I use Lidia Bastianich’s method, which can be found here.

2) I didn’t puree the soup well enough at first, which resulted in something not unlike leaf-strewn rainwater. It took a few minutes on ICE CRUSH to finally get a smooth consistency, but the extra choppage was worth it in the end.

3) Both leeks and broccoli were pretty pricey in my ‘hood this week, and I’m betting that better shoppers could make this schlamiel for about two bucks cheaper.

Cook’s Country kindly provided the nutritional information, so only the price calculations are listed below. Happy weekend, everybody! (And go play Rock Band. Seriously. Now. Run.)

Low-Fat Broccoli Cheddar Soup
Makes 6 (large) servings
Adapted from Cook's Country.
Note: I know this picture is terrible. Please, please make it anyway. You won't be sorry.

1 Tablespoon unsalted butter
2 leeks, white and light green parts only, halved lengthwise and sliced thin
1-1/2 pounds broccoli, florets chopped, stems peeled and sliced thin
2 garlic cloves, minced
3 cups low-sodium chicken broth (or veggie)
1 cup water
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
¾ cup fat-free evaporated milk
4 ounces extra-sharp cheddar cheese, shredded (about 1 cup)
salt and pepper

1) In a large pot over medium heat, warm butter until melted. Add leeks and broccoli stems. Cook around 8 minutes, or until both are a tiny bit soft. Add garlic. Cook about 30 seconds to 1 minute, until fragrant. It will look like this:

Add broth and water. Jack up heat until everything starts to boil. When that happens, drop heat to medium-low. Cover and simmer around 8 minutes, or until broccoli stalks are pretty soft. Then, add broccoli florets. Cover again and cook another 5 minutes, until those are tender, too.

2) Kill heat. Add soup to blender. Blend/puree the heck out of it, until there are no broccoli bits left. I can't emphasize this enough: it should be totally, completely smooth. Add mustard, milk, and cheese to blender. "Puree until cheese is melted." Salt and pepper to taste. (You can do this in two batches. Whatever you do CC says, "make sure to fill your blender no more than halfway with hot soup.")

Very special note: this soup will last a few days in the fridge, but be careful reheating. Boiling it will cause the cheese to do weird things, so cook leftovers over medium-low.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
210 calories, 11 g fat, $1.34

Calculations
1 Tablespoon unsalted butter: $0.05
2 leeks, white and light green parts only: $2.00
1-1/2 pounds broccoli: $2.97
2 garlic cloves: $0.06
3 cups low-sodium chicken broth: $1.00
1 cup water: FREE
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard: $0.18
¾ cup fat-free evaporated milk: $0.37
4 ounces extra-sharp cheddar cheese, shredded (about 1 cup): $1.25
salt and pepper: $0.03
TOTAL: $8.01
PER SERVING: $1.34

Mission: Light Macaroni and Cheese

I’m sitting on our futon watching Diary of a Mad Black Woman because I’m not only a gigantic sucker for Tyler Perry melodramas (you GO Madea), but I’m also too dang full to move. Our friends F and H were just here with their giggly, grabby nine-month-old, and we feasted together for the first time since the little guy started teething. (Which? Looks like it hurts. I’m kind of glad I don’t remember it.) The vittles, which were plentiful, included biscuits, Barefoot Contessa’s Roasted Carrots, and my lightened version of Alton Brown’s Stove Top Mac-and-Cheese.

Now, I know mac and cheese is NOT exactly health chow. But I love it more than any other food, including sushi, M&Ms, and even sweet potatoes, for which I would gladly give up my first-born. (“My beautiful child? The joy of my life? For a barbecued yam? … Deal.”) In fact, my passion for the dish is surpassed only by my adoration for Alton, so I was highly, HIGHLY hesitant to mess with the man’s recipe. But 37 grams of fat per serving seemed excessive, especially for H, who’s trying to drop some baby weight now that her boobs are finally returning to semi-normal. (a.k.a. Leaving the Land of the Nursing.)

This was my third shot at lightening this dish, and this time around, I think I got it. At least, it’s the best lower-fat mac and cheese I’ve ever had, and it stands up pretty well to full-fat versions. A few notes on the process:

1) To cut the caloric load, I reduced the butter by half, used egg whites instead of whole eggs, subbed in fat-free for whole evaporated milk, and grated six ounces of reduced fat cheddar cheese instead of eight ounces of full-fat. If my calculations are correct, these steps slashed about one-third of the calories, and 58% of the fat off Alton’s recipe. If my calculations are incorrect … hey! Look over there! A shiny thing! (*runs away*)

2) At first, I tried this with pre-shredded cheese. No good. It made the sauce floury and bland. The next batch contained cheddar grated from a block of Cracker Barrel ten minutes before it was added to the sauce mixture. This was MUCH better-tasting and made for a smoother consistency as well. Aces.

3) I paid a ridiculous amount for the cheese because I A) wanted a better-quality frommage, and B) was so eager to try the dish that I didn’t bother to wait for a sale. Thusly, I have broken the Rules of Frugality, and am available for flogging on Wednesday nights after Idol.

4) If I had to make one change at all, I’d add a little more salt. A half-teaspoon might be too much, but a quarter couldn’t hurt.

And that's it. If anybody out there has another stellar, inexpensive recipe for light mac and cheese, I’d LOVE to see (and try!). I entreaty you to please, please pass it on in the comment section - because the search for a good mac and cheese is the noblest search of all.

Stove Top Mac-n-Cheese
3 main servings or 6 side servings
Adapted from Alton Brown.

8 oz elbow macaroni
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 egg whites
½ cup fat free evaporated milk
A few dashes cayenne pepper (a little hot sauce will also work.)
¾ teaspoon kosher salt
Fresh black pepper
½ tablespoon dijon mustard
6 ounces reduced fat block sharp cheddar, grated by hand (Cracker Barrel 2% rules here.)

1) Boil elbows in salted water until al dente. Drain. Turn heat to low and add pasta back to pot. Add butter and melt, stirring constantly to coat macaroni.

2) In a small bowl, combine eggs, milk, cayenne, salt, pepper, and mustard with a whisk. Pour into pasta. Stir. Add cheese. Stir until sauce is creamy and cheese is totally incorporated, about 3 or 4 minutes. Serve.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
Main: 570 calories, 20.1 g fat, $1.50
Side: 285 calories, 10.5 g fat, $0.75

Calculations
8 oz elbow macaroni: 811 calories,4.1 g fat, $0.50
2 tablespoons unsalted butter: 204 calories, 23 g fat, $0.11
2 egg whites: 34 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.30
½ cup fat free evaporated milk: 113 calories, 0 g fat, $0.25
¼ - ½ teaspoon hot sauce: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
¾ teaspoon kosher salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
Fresh black pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
½ tablespoon dijon mustard: 7 calories, 0 g fat, $0.09
6 ounces reduced fat block sharp cheddar: 540 calories, 36 g fat, $3.22
TOTAL: 1709 calories, 63.2 g fat, $4.51
PER SERVING MAIN (TOTAL/3): 570 calories, 20.1 g fat, $1.50
PER SERVING SIDE (TOTAL/6): 285 calories, 10.5 g fat, $0.75

Cheesy Eggplant Bake: The Power OF WORDS

Last night was full of good things: warm(ish) weather, the return of The Office and 30 Rock, a solid $4.99 Shiraz from Trader Joe’s, and most of all, the regrettably-named Cheesy Eggplant Bake.

As an ex-English teacher, I’m somewhat aware of the power of language. Only, I don’t think I knew how much it could affect food until Cheesy Eggplant Bake. (P.S. I will be repeating the phrase “Cheesy Eggplant Bake” as many times as possible in the following paragraphs. Because I can!) Cheesy Eggplant Bake is a simple, delicious five-star vegetarian dish from AllRecipes. It should have hundreds of reviews, but alas – only 10 decorate its lonely page. Why, I ask. Why?

Is it the picture? Nope. Stunningly (for AllRecipes, anyway), the accompanying photo makes Cheesy Eggplant Bake look alluringly tasty.

What about the ingredients? Nope. Cheap, plentiful, and way healthy, especially if you have a garden.

Could the similarly-monikered Cheesy Baked Eggplant be hogging all the glory? Er … nuh unh.

It’s gotta be the name. There’s no other explanation for it. Who the crap wants to eat anything named Cheesy Eggplant Bake? You might as well call it Vegetables in a Dish with Stuff on Top, because it would elicit about the same level of temptation. Y’know – let’s put it this way: if Cheesy Eggplant Bake was listed on Epicurious as Deconstructed Ratatouille with Mushrooms and Mozzarella, people would get wind burns in the rush to the kitchen.

But hear this, my lovelies: ignore the name. You gotta try this thing. It’s a winnah, and the servings are HUGE so there's no need to pair them with another food (though pasta could be a good side if needed). And while the AllRecipes version would be totally fine, you can lessen the caloric impact by cutting one tablespoon of olive oil, substituting two egg whites for two whole eggs, and using part-skim shredded mozzarella instead of full-fat slices. (Those directions are below.)

Readers – how ‘bout you? Have you ever had a really great meal with a wildly awful name? Or vice versa? Do tell. (And try the Cheesy Eggplant Bake!)

Cheesy Eggplant Bake
6 servings
Adapted from All Recipes.

1 medium eggplant, peeled
2 teaspoons salt
3/4 cup dry bread crumbs
1 tablespoon garlic salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 egg + 2 egg whites
2 tablespoons olive oil, divided
1 large green pepper, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
1/2 pound fresh mushrooms, sliced
2 (14.5 ounce) cans stewed tomatoes
6 ounces part skim mozzarella cheese, shredded

1) Slice eggplant crosswise into 1/4-inch rounds. Arrange rounds in a colander in your sink and sprinkle salt all over them. Walk away for half an hour. When finished, "rinse under cold water and pat dry with paper towels."

2) While eggplant is sitting, combine bread crumbs, garlic salt, and pepper in a shallow bowl or on a plate. In a separate shallow bowl, whisk eggs. When eggplant is done, douse each slice in the egg mixture. Then dip in the bread crumb mixture to coat. Shake off any excess and/or drippy-ness.

3) In a large skillet, heat 1/2 tablespoon oil over medium-high heat. Cook a few rounds until browned, about 2 minutes per side. When finished, arrange in 13x9-inch baking dish. Repeat for second batch.

4) Preheat oven to 350°F.

5) Heat last 1 tablespoon oil in same skillet over medium-high heat. Add green pepper, onion, and mushrooms. Cook until onion is softening and pepper is crisp/tender, about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Top eggplant with mixture. Add tomatoes on top of that, spreading evenly.

6) Cover with tin foil and bake 25 minutes. Remove from oven and take off tin foil. Sprinkle cheese on top and bake another 25 or 30 minutes, until cheese is melted and a little brown. Serve to applause.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
260 calories, 11.2 g fat, $1.41

Calculations
1 medium eggplant: 110 calories, 0.9 g fat, $1.41
2 teaspoons salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
3/4 cup dry bread crumbs: 330 calories, 4.5 g fat, $0.45
1 tablespoon garlic salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.06
1/2 teaspoon pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
1 eggs + 2 egg whites: 108 calories, 5.1 g fat, $0.45
2 tablespoons olive oil: 237 calories, 26.8 g fat, $0.20
1 large green pepper: 33 calories, 0.3 g fat, $0.74
1 medium onion: 46 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.20
1/2 pound fresh mushrooms: 50 calories, 0.8 g fat, $1.50
2 (14.5 ounce) cans stewed tomatoes: 214 calories, 1.6 g fat, $1.58
6 ounces part skim mozzarella cheese, shredded: 432 calories, 27.1 g fat, $1.83
TOTAL: 1560 calories, 67.2 g fat, $8.45
PER SERVING (TOTAL/6): 260 calories, 11.2 g fat, $1.41

Roasted Asparagus with Poached Egg & Parmesan: It's Springtime for Vegetables (and Germany)

Two quick things before today’s recipe:

1) Last December, I posted a recipe for Wacky Cake, a vegan chocolate delight guaranteed to caress your taste buds like a gentle, fudgy lover. As I’m dumb, there was a typo in the calculations and I listed a single teaspoon of vinegar at $0.93. It should have been $0.03, which makes the final per-piece total a staggering $0.09 (instead of $0.17). Just another reason to go home and bake 12 of the dang thing.

2) I’m reading A Cook’s Tour by Anthony Bourdain right now. I loved Kitchen Confidential SO HARD, and I think I’m liking this even more. The guy can flat-out write, and his cultural observations are as riveting and funny as his culinary insights. I want to make out with his brain. Has anyone read his fiction stuff? Is it as good? Do tell.

Anyway, business. We’re edging slowly into Spring up here in NYC, which means between the tri-weekly monsoons, it’s possible to steal out and gaze in anticipatory wonder at the first green vegetables of the season. Salad greens are making an appearance, as are artichokes and baby garlic. But even better are the asparagus. They’re going at local supermarkets for under $2, and in Chinatown for $0.50 a bunch. ('Round here, this is the grocery equivalent of buying a Lexus for a twenty you found on the street.)

Inspired by this inexpensive onslaught of emerald stalky things and this post from The Kitchn, I decided to try Roasted Asparagus with Poached Eggs and Parmesan.

AND I LOVED IT.

Loved it loved it loved it loved it loved it loved it.

The Boyfriend did, too. I’ll be serving it to his parents when they come to visit in May, because I want them to think nothing but wonderful things about me. (I’m an excellent housekeeper, Nobel Laureate, fart rainbows, etc.) The parmesan and breadcrumbs give it a light, crunchy crust, while the egg, poached to perfection via the whirlpool method, drowns everything in a yolky, creamy pool of magic. Gah. I want more right now, but alas, am stuck at work. Thanks a lot JOB, a.k.a. You Which Allows Me to Survive but Deprives Me of Time I Could be Making Asparagussy Wonderment.

Oh, and hey - a tip, should you try it yourself: if there’s a Trader Joe’s nearby, get thee hence. Their large eggs are only $1.79/dozen, and that beats any of BK’s local competition by at least 60 cents. (“BK” is Brooklyn, not Burger King in this case.) I think it might be comparable ‘round the country.

Roasted Asparagus with Poached Egg & Parmesan
Serves 4
Adapted from The Kitchn.

1 Tbsp. olive oil
20 asparagus spears, trimmed (or tough ends snapped off)
2 Tbsp. breadcrumbs
1 tablespoon salt
1 teaspoon unflavored vinegar
4 large eggs
2 ounces grated parmesan
 (optional: 4 strips thinly sliced prosciutto)

1) Preheat oven to 400°F. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil.

2) In a small bowl, toss asparagus with oil to coat. Salt and pepper to taste. Place on baking sheet. Roast around 10 or 11 minutes, until asparagus is tender. Sprinkle veggies with bread crumbs and then stick it back in the oven for 5 more minutes. Remove from oven, split among 4 plates, and keep warm.

3) While asparagus is roasting, "bring 2 quarts of water to a boil with vinegar and salt." Drop heat to low. When it becomes a simmer, make a brisk, gentle whirlpool in the water with your spoon. "Crack an egg into a cup." Slowly add egg to whirlpool. (It should migrate towards the middle.) Do the same thing for egg #2, stirring every so often to keep the whirlpool going.

4) Cook between 3 1/2 and 4 minutes. When finished, with a slotted spoon, lightly place one on each plate of asparagus. Sprinkle parm on top, and prosciutto if using. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve.

5) Starting from Step 2, repeat process for eggs #3 and #4.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
201.5 calories, 13 g fat, $0.94

Calculations
1 Tbsp. olive oil: 119 calories, 13.5 g fat, $0.08
20 asparagus spears: 90 calories, 0.5 g fat, $1.99
2 Tbsp. breadcrumbs: 55 calories, 0.8 g fat, $0.03
1 tablespoon salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
1 teaspoon unflavored vinegar: 3 calories, 0 g fat, $0.03
4 large very fresh eggs: 294 calories, 19.9 g fat, $0.60
1 2-ounce piece Parmesan cheese: 245 calories, 16.3 g fat, $1.00
TOTAL: 806 calories, 51 g fat, $3.75
PER SERVING: 201.5 calories, 13 g fat, $0.94

Broccoli with Indian Spiced Yogurt

For the last nine months, The Boyfriend’s been a willing, enthusiastic participant in about eight zillion semi-dastardly culinary experiments. He’s slurped down 15 tons of pasta and eaten more chicken than ten armies should have to. He’s had pictures taken of almost every dinner for a year (“Honey – don’t eat that yet. I need better lighting.”). He’s done dishes upon dishes upon dishes with nary a frustrated peep.

Yet, if he likes a meal and I’m not too crazy about it, I don’t include it on this site. I feel bad about this, but it stops today. This week I made Jamie Oliver’s Broccoli Drizzled with Indian-Spiced Yogurt. I liked it okay. He loved it. Thus, here goes.

But first, a few notes:

Note #1: I only made a third of the suggested recipe because I was cooking for two. Measurements for the whole shebang can be found through the link.

Note #2: I changed the yogurt into low-fat yogurt, and it worked great.

Note #3: My spices came from the Turkish place around the corner, which is why they’re wicked cheap.

Broccoli Drizzled with Indian-Spiced Yogurt
Makes 2 side servings
Adapted from Jamie Oliver.

10 oz broccoli crowns (about 2 small), broken into florets
1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil
2/3 tsp each: cumin seeds, fennel seeds
Seeds from 2 cardamom pods
1/3 cup plain low-fat yogurt
Zest and juice of 1/3 lemon
Kosher salt and black pepper

1) Bring a big pot of salted water to a boil. Add broccoli and boil for 4 minutes or so. Drain very well. (A salad spinner might come in handy here.)

2) In a large skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add broccoli. Cook about 5 minutes, until veggies are "lightly charred," stirring occasionally. Move to a plate.

3) While broccoli is cooking, heat a small skillet over medium-high heat. Add cumin, fennel, and cardamom and toast "until browned and fragrant, 3 to 4 minutes." Grind, using a mortar and pestle, spice grinder, or coffee grinder.

4) Add 3/4 cumin mixture, all the lemon juice, and all the lemon zest to yogurt. Stir. Salt and pepper to taste.

5) Drizzle yogurt mixture over broccoli. Garnish with the last 1/4 of the cumin mixture.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
92 calories, 3.6 g fat, $0.71

Calculations
10 oz broccoli crowns (about 2 small), broken into florets: 80 calories, 1 g fat, $0.66
1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil: 39 calories, 4.5 g fat, $0.03
2/3 tsp each: cumin seeds, fennel seeds: 10 calories, 0.5 g fat, $0.20
Seeds from 2 cardamom pods: negligible calories and fat, $0.10
1/3 cup plain low-fat yogurt: 51 calories, 1.3 g fat, $0.23
Zest and juice of 1/3 lemon: 4 calories, 0 g fat, $0.17
Kosher salt and black pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
TOTAL: 184 calories, 7.3 g fat, $1.41
PER SERVING (TOTAL/2): 92 calories, 3.6 g fat, $0.71

Honey-Glazed Roasted Carrots, Simon-Style

My biggest guilty pleasure (besides the film canon of Drew Barrymore) is a semi-addiction to American Idol. I've loved it since Season 2, and this year is no different. I'm totally digging on Amanda Overmyer’s beery Janis vibe, want to squeeze David Archuleta to pieces, and do a happy little cheer whenever Carly Smithson aces a Heart song. Plus, anytime Kelly Clarkson pops up in my iPod, I LISTEN, no matter how much I believe I only like bands signed to Sub Pop. (Also? I’m 12.)

In honor of that show, I’d like to describe my slightly adjusted version of Bon Appetit’s Honey-Glazed Roasted Carrots in the manner of each of the judges.

RANDY
Yo, yo, yo dawg, listen up - this sauce BRANG IT! I was worried about the carrots at first, but yeah, I feel ‘em. I feel ‘em. They ended up working with each other, dawg. Yo, did you know I played bass for the magazine that created this recipe? That's right, dawg! YEAH!

PAULA
The carrots … they’re all the colors of the rainbow. And the sauce … it transcends time and space, and I love way it feels and looks around my neck, and … oh, I loved it. Because, it didn’t need sparkles or fairies. It just was. It was a purple waterfall that God could smell in heaven. It just was … and I knew it from the moment I saw it. Rainbows. God bless.

SIMON
Paula … I have no idea what you just said. But … I must say … that … was … ABSOLUTELY … brilliant. I LOVED it. The honey and balsamic were COMPLETELY unexpected, and the carrots, ABSOLUTELY TREMENDOUS. It is 100% going to be made next week. Also, Ryan Seacrest – your tie is ABSOLUTELY AWFUL.

KRIS (Note: not really an A.I. judge)
The sauce alone, man – I could drink it as a shake. I could pour it on cereal. I could use it as shampoo. It rendered me illiterate, or at least somewhat non-verbal. And with the carrots? It even transcends that. Roasting them brings out their natural sweetness, which is only magnified by el Glaze-o. Nicely done.

With that said, I should mention that I think my fat and calorie estimates are kind of high, since a lot of the oil gets left in the bowl and on the cookie sheet.

I should also mention that Bon Appetit’s recipe included parsnips, and I’m sure that would go beautifully in here as well.

Oh yeah - and I NEED to mention that Jason Castro is 100% completely the kind of guy I would have swooned for when I was 20, white-kid dreads and all. (I didn't say I was proud.)

Finally, I should mention … the recipe! (Go Carly!)

Honey-Glazed Roasted Carrots
Makes 3 servings.
Adapted from Epicurious/Bon Appetit.

1 lb. carrots (1/2 to 1 inches in diameter), peeled, halved lengthwise
1-1/2 tablespoons olive oil
salt and pepper

1/2 tablespoons butter
1/2 tablespoons honey
1/3 teaspoon balsamic vinegar

1) Preheat oven to 400°F and place rack in center.

2) Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil. In a medium bowl, mix carrots, olive oil, salt, and pepper until carrots have been thoroughly doused.

3) Roast vegetables 16 minutes, stirring once halfway through. Roast 5 more minutes, or until carrots are "tender enough to be easily pierced with a knife." (You can prep this an hour or two ahead, which I did this past Thanksgiving. Just cover loosely with aluminum foil and warm it in the oven for about 10 minutes before serving.)

3) In a small saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. (Do not let brown.) Add honey and vinegar. Stir. Pour over carrots. Serve.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
150 calories, 9 g fat, $0.39

Calculations
1 lb. carrots: 186 calories, 1.1 g fat, $0.89
1-1/2 tablespoons olive oil: 179 calories, 20.2 g fat, $0.12
Salt and pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
1/2 tablespoons butter: 51 calories, 5.8 g fat, $0.05
1/2 tablespoons honey: 32 calories, 0 g fat, $0.05
1/3 teaspoon balsamic vinegar: 1 calorie, 0 g fat, $0.02
TOTAL: 449 calories, 27.1 g fat, $1.16
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): 150 calories, 9 g fat, $0.39

(Randy/Paula/Simon photos courtesy of eonline.)

Potato Gnocchi: A Primer

(Number of times the word "gnocchi" appears in this post, including the title and this sentence: 24.)

(Rejected suggestions for post title: "Gnocchi Dokey," "Gnocchi Country for Old Men, " and "Point of Gnocchi Return.")

I love gnocchi. For lunch, for dinner, for breakfast - doesn't matter. In fact, if a survey was administered, and four out of five dentists preferred gnocchi to other Italian foods, I would pummel that fifth dentist until he acquiesced to gnocchi's inherent goodness. (Or, maybe I'd just feed him more gnocchi. That "pummel" thing is pretty violent.)

For those unfamiliar with gnocchi, they're little pillows of potatoes and magic, held together with flour and egg, and ever-so-slightly flavored with salt and pepper. While their vitamins and minerals are somewhat lacking, they're virtually fat-free, and a nifty twist on plain ol' pasta. Even better, gnocchi is inexpensive and can be paired with just about any sauce on earth, except maybe those of the barbecue variety. (Which, on second thought, might not actually be so bad.)

Before last year, I tried making gnocchi a few times on my own, and they came out okay. A little gummy maybe, but edible. (Gumminess, by the way, is brought on by too much moisture and is the mortal enemy of gnocchi.) Then, in March 2007, I took a gnocchi class at a local cooking school, and - oooooo. My gnocchi are much better now, due in large part to Chef Gerri, who taught us to roast the potatoes instead of boil them. It reduces the amount of moisture to which the potato is exposed, giving the gnocchi a better chance of surviving the tumultuous boiling process.

The dumplings improved even more when I caught a gnocchi-centric episode of Lidia's Italy. In her awesomely competent way, Ms. Bastianich demonstrated another ace method of reducing moisture: after the hot potatoes were put through her food mill, she spread the results out as much as possible. That way, the steam escaped and the possibility of gnocchi-destroying gumminess was severely reduced.

With that in mind, attached below is my recipe for gnocchi, replete with poorly-lit step-by-step photos. You might notice I skip the beautifying forkmark process. This is for two reasons:

A) I'm lazy. There are almost 200 of those suckers.
B) I'm really, really bad at it. Like, almost as bad as I am at driving, which is pretty bad.

I plan on trying butternut squash and/or spinach gnocchi at some point, so look for that in the future. (The NEAR future, I'm not sure.) In the meantime, enjoy.

Potato Gnocchi
Makes about 150 gnocchi, which serves 4 generously and 5 very well

2 ½ lbs starchy white potatoes (Russets)
2 cups flour
1 large egg
salt and pepper

1) Preheat oven to 400F.

2) Scrub and dry potatoes, then pierce each one several times with a fork. Place them on a cookie sheet and roast until tender/easily pierced through with a knife. (Probably 45 minutes to an hour.) Remove from oven.

3) While potatoes cool slightly, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil.

4) Once potatoes are cool enough to handle (but still hot/very warm), peel the skins off with your hands. The earlier this happens, the better. A pair of rubber gloves (or sandwich bags slung over your hands) should help you handle the spuds.

5) When the potatoes are peeled, put each one through a ricer or food mill (medium grate). Make sure you spread the riced potatoes out as much as possible, as this will help moisture evaporate.

6) Once the tubers have cooled, place them on a clean, dry surface. Then, sprinkle salt, pepper, and 1-1/2 cups of flour over the top.

7) Form the potatoes and flour into a small mound with a well dug out in the center.

8) Whisk the egg in a bowl and pour it into the well.

9) Using either a pastry scraper or your bare hands, gently knead the entire mound together into a big ol' ball. This shouldn't take longer than ten minutes, but will probably take far less. If the dough still feels sticky or tacky as you go along, add more flour.

10) Once you have your dough ball, break off about an eighth of it. Using your hands, carefully roll this piece into a long, thin log, about 1/2 - 3/4 inch in diameter.

11) This is the most important part: using a knife or a pastry scraper, cut off a 3/4-inch piece (not the end piece) of the roll. It should look like a tiny pillow. Drop the piece into your pot of boiling water. When it rises to the top, it's finished.

12) Eat the piece. If you like it, go ahead to step 13. If it's gummy or falls apart in the water, that means there's too much moisture in the dough. Add more flour (1/8 - 1/4 cup) to your dough ball, knead it in, and try again until you get the result you desire.

13) Chunk by chunk, roll the remaining dough into logs. After each log is made, cut them into 3/4-inch pieces. Each piece should be about the size of the top of your index finger, from knuckle to nail.


14) Place each piece of gnocchi on a cookie sheet lined with wax paper. This will give you an idea of their numbers AND set them up for freezing later.

15) Drop a full serving (between 20 and 30 gnocchi) into the pot of boiling water. When the gnocchi rise to the surface, remove them with a slotted spoon (or other hole-y implement) and place them into a serving bowl. This should take between 3 and 5 minutes per serving. You may have to drain extra liquid from each bowl at the end.


16) Add sauce, parmesan and dig in.

NOTE: To preserve uncooked gnocchi, simply chill the pan from step #14 in your freezer. When gnocchi is frozen through, dump 'em in a plastic bag, squeeze the air out, and seal. Voila.

Approximate Calories, Fat and Price per Serving
387 calories, 1.7 g fat, $0.53

Calculations:
2 ½ lbs starchy white potatoes (reduced to 2 ¼ after peeling): 950 calories, 1 g fat, $2.37
2 cups flour: 910 calories, 2.5 g fat, $0.10
1 large egg: 74 calories, 5 g fat, $0.15
salt and pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.04
TOTAL: 1934 calories, 8.5 g fat, $2.66
PER SERVING (TOTAL/5): 387 calories, 1.7 g fat, $0.53

Cheap Healthy Party Food

With the big Giants/Pats showdown only four days away, it’s time to start thinking about food. What should you bring to a get-together? What will you serve at your own shindig? How can you keep from gaining 14 pounds in a single afternoon?

That’s where Cheap Healthy Party Food comes in. Gathered from five prominent websites, the following 60 recipes are less expensive, healthier alternatives to the chips/dips/wings combo typical of Super Bowl Sunday. Plus, as it’s a football game (THE football game), all the dishes are party-friendly. There is no spa food, and nary a spinach salad or fat-free flaxseed muffin to be found. Instead, the list is chock full of chicken, chili, pizza, and pie, just in lower-calorie incarnations.

To everything, there is a process, and my first step in compiling this list was narrowing down my source websites. (It’s a big internet out there, man.) I decided each one had to have A) lots of health-minded options, B) an easy search function, and C) reliable recipe reviews. After some consideration, I settled on All Recipes, Cooking Light, Eating Well, Epicurious and Food Network. (Oh, and Cheap Healthy Good. Hooray for self-promotion!)

Still, I was left with a ton of possibilities. So next, I had to come up with food criteria. It wasn’t easy, and unlike the Beef/Pork/Fish posts, my methods weren’t exactly scientific. But I eventually settled on the following:

• Each dish had to contain at least four servings.
• Recipes could not incorporate more than one semi-pricy ingredient. (A frequent issue with Epicurious.)
• Fat and calorie content had to be healthy relative to serving size. An 800-calorie stuffed mushroom recipe looks great until you realize is it only makes six mushrooms. (A frequent issue with Cooking Light.)
• The food couldn’t look repulsive in pictures. (A frequent issue with All Recipe.)
• Recipes had to have at least an 87% review rating (3.5 forks on Eating Well, 5 stars on Food Network, etc).
• Dishes had to be appropriate for parties where huge, hairy fathers of three paint their bare chests with Tedy Bruschi’s jersey number.

With all that in mind, I commenced searching. And the results? Are pretty sweet. John Madden would approve.

(As always, read the reviews for cooking and serving suggestions.)

APPETIZERS
All Recipes: Chicken Satay
All Recipes: Pita Chips
All Recipes: Garden Veggie Pizza Squares
All Recipes: Savory Crab Stuffed Mushrooms
CHG: Lightened Seven Layer Taco Dip
Cooking Light: Adobo Chips with Warm Goat Cheese and Cilantro Salsa
Cooking Light: Cheddar with Sauteed Apples and Brown Bread
Cooking Light: Goat Cheese Crostini
Cooking Light: Pinto Bean Nachos
Cooking Light: Starry Snack Mix
Eating Well: Boneless Buffalo Wings
Food Network: Chili Chips
Food Network: Parmesan Pita Toast Strips

DIPS, SALSAS, DRESSINGS and SPREADS
All Recipes: Avocado Mango Salsa (use gloves when working with habaneros)
All Recipes: Black Bean Hummus
All Recipes: Fresh Salsa 1
All Recipes: Spicy Bean Salsa (use low-fat dressing)
All Recipes: Sweet and Sour Sauce
All Recipes: Tequila Cocktail Sauce
CHG: Lemony Light Hummus
Cooking Light: Creamy Artichoke Dip
Cooking Light: Spicy Roasted Red Pepper and Bean Dip
Eating Well: Hot Artichoke Dip
Epicurious: Habanero Chile Salsa (use gloves when working with habaneros)
Food Network: Ranch Dressing
Food Network: White Bean Dip

MEAT MAINS
All Recipes: Hawaiian Chicken Kabobs
All Recipes: Pineapple Chicken Tenders
All Recipes: Yummy Honey Chicken Kebabs
Cooking Light: Ancho, Beef, and Kidney Bean Chili
Cooking Light: Mexican Black Bean Chili
Cooking Light: Real Texas Chili
Eating Well: Chicken Chili with Hominy
Eating Well: Pulled Pork
Eating Well: Thai Chicken Pizza
Food Network: Buffalo Chicken Salad
Food Network: Chicken Chili
Food Network: Chili on Rice
Food Network: Mambo Chicken with Mango Salsa
Food Network: Middle Eastern Chicken Burgers
Food Network: Oven Fried Chicken
Food Network: Sloppy Joes
Food Network: Stuffed Turkey Burgers
Food Network: Three Bean and Beef Chili

SIDES
Cooking Light: Apple Slaw
Cooking Light: Beer Battered Onion Rings
Cooking Light: Cheese Fries
Cooking Light: Classic Potato Salad
Eating Well: Wholesome Corn Bread
Epicurious: Roasted Sweet Potato Slices
Food Network: Grilled Red Onions
Food Network: Black Bean Salad
Food Network: Baked Smoked Chili Fries

DESSERTS
Cooking Light: Frozen Butterfinger Pie
Cooking Light: Fudgy Sheet Cake
Cooking Light: Oatmeal Spice Cookies
Epicurious: Apple Pie
Epicurious: Mini Chocolate Cupcakes
Food Network: Chocolate Vanilla Swirl Pound Cake
Food Network: Carrot Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting
Food Network: Coffee Angel Food Cake

CHG’s Super Bowl Week isn’t over yet, so tune in tomorrow for Favorites of the Week, and then again on Friday for A Tale of Two Salsas. (Mmm … Dickensian.)

Polenta: The Movie Trailer

Our trailer opens in space, with the sun rising over the Earth. At first, we only hear NARRATOR’S voice. It’s that guy who does all the previews.

NARRATOR: In a world … where your staples … are always rice and potatoes … (and sometimes couscous) … comes a side dish … that no one considered … and only one man … can bring it home …

We cut to an urban kitchen, where young KRIS is freaking out over what to pair with Chicken Provencal.

KRIS: Nooooo! (slams counter) I don’t know what to serve with this. My starches all seem so … boring. Isn’t there anyone who can help me? Anyone? (begins to weep)

Cook's Illustrated guru Christopher Kimball flies in through the kitchen window. He looks like Superman, but skinnier and slightly dorkier. Oh, also - the bowtie.

CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL: Never fear, young…ish lady. It is I, Cook’s Illustrated guru Christopher Kimball! I will take your meal back to my secret Test Kitchen Headquarters, analyze it, and devise a solution!

KRIS: (blowing nose) Oh, thank you, Christopher Kimball! But how long *SNOOORRF* will this take you? Seriously, I’ve got to put dinner on the table sometime tonight.

CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL: Uh … 10 minutes?

KRIS: Great!

We see CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL leaping out the window and flying speedily over every conceivable landscape.

NARRATOR: With the pressure … of dinner upon him … can Christopher Kimball … find the answer … and make it back … to Kris’ Brooklyn Kitchen … in time?

CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL lands at Test Kitchen Headquarters, and is immediately accompanied by NONDESCRIPT CHOPPING LADY. We see them furiously mixing dozens of ingredients, stirring hundreds of bowls, and licking innumerable spoons.

CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL: DANGIT! Won’t this ever come together? We’re running out of time!

NONDESCRIPT CHOPPING LADY: I know, Christopher. (gazes longingly) Oh, how I know.

A frantic cooking montage begins.

NARRATOR: With the weight of the world … let me rephrase that … with the weight of dinner … upon him … Christopher Kimball must reconsider … everything he holds dear …

End montage. CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL and NONDESCRIPT CHOPPING LADY are sitting on the floor of Test Kitchen Headquarters, covered in flour and looking defeated.

CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL: All these years in the kitchen. So many meals. So many expertly executed dinners. Nondescript Chopping Lady, I just … don’t know. We're doomed.

NONDESCRIPT CHOPPING LADY: What about polenta?

CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL and NONDESCRIPT SHOPPING LADY meet eyes, hold their stare for a second, and then turn to the camera. Our picture fades to black. The title graphics for “Polenta: The Movie” appear onscreen.

NARRATOR: Polenta. The Movie. When the chips are down, the corn comes out. Coming this Fall.

-fini-

(Quick end note: I’m finding Cook's Illustrated Best 30-Minute Recipe tends to make serving sizes on the large side. This polenta could spread itself to five or six people, especially if you have kids. I did calculations for both four and six servings, just like last weeks Chicken Provencal, to be safe.)

Cook’s Illustrated Quick Polenta
Serves 4
Adapted from Cook's Illustrated Best 30-Minute Recipe.

4 cups water
1 cup instant polenta
2 T unsalted butter
¼ c grated Parmesan cheese

1) Throw out the polenta box (removing polenta first). Don't even look at the directions.

2) In a large pan over medium-high heat, bring water and 1 teaspoon salt to a simmer. Very, very slowly stir polenta into water. Drop heat to low. Cover and cook about 5 minutes, until polenta gets a smooth texture, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and uncover. Add butter and cheese. Stir until well-mixed. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve but quick.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
4 servings: 199 calories, 8 g fat, $0.42
6 servings: 132.5, 5 g fat, $0.28

Calculations
4 cups water: negligible calories and fat, FREE
1 cup instant polenta: 505 calories, 2.3 g fat, $0.99
2 T unsalted butter: 204 calories, 23 g fat, $0.19
¼ c grated Parmesan cheese: 86 calories, 5.7 g fat, $0.52
TOTAL: 795 calories, 31 g fat, $1.69
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 199 calories, 8 g fat, $0.42
PER SERVING (TOTAL/6): 132.5 calories, 5 g fat, $0.28

Passage to Indian Carrot Salad

It’s 2:29pm, three days after Christmas. I’m nursing a glass of water at home in Brooklyn, watching Emeril on Food Network, and going over my TO DO list before I go to India.

I’m going to India. I have to keep typing this because I don’t quite believe it yet, even though the plane leaves in 52 hours and 29 minutes. I’m not packed (next on the TO DO list), but I think everything else has been accomplished. The rent is paid, my Visa is all set up, and I’ve had more shots in the last month than most firing squad victims. I am immune to EVERYTHING, up to and including polio, rabies, and that weird virus that made everyone zombies in 28 Days Later.

I’ll be overseas until January 8th, and returning to blogdom on the 10th. In the meantime, Rachel the Cheap Healthy Gourmet has graciously agreed to fill in during my absence. (Read: she’s tied up in the basement with nothing but gruel and a laptop.) While I’m gasping in wonder at the Taj Mahal and trying desperately to avoid an exciting intestinal malaise, you’ll be treated to seven straight days of really, really good recipes and writing. Besides being the best roommate ever, Rach is also the best home cook I know, so I promise y’all are in good hands.

In celebration of the trip (paid for in part by months of hardcore food budgeting), I attempted an Indian Carrot Salad from The Food of India cookbook last night. It turned out okay, but would have been better if I hadn't messed with the directions so excessively. To wit: I added too much lemon juice, made a mustard substitution that didn’t work, and heated the oil to near-bubbling, all of which turned the carrots a little bitter. Ultimately, though it wasn’t terrible (and I’ll finish the dish), I do suggest following the exact measurements and instructions for best results. Which, like – duh.

That aside, I hope everyone’s New Year is ever-so-lovely, and I’ll see y’all again in two weeks. Whee!

P.S. All spices were purchased bulk from my local ethnic market, which is why the prices are so low.

Indian Carrot Salad
Serves 3
Adapted from The Food of India.

½ tablespoon oil (I used vegetable oil – Kris)
1/8 teaspoon black mustard seeds (I used Dijon mustard. Bad idea. – Kris)
1/8 teaspoon cumin seeds
pinch of ground turmeric
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon caster (superfine granulated) sugar
¾ tablespoon lemon juice
9 oz (about 3 large) carrots, finely grated
A few coriander (cilantro) leaves (I left this out – Kris)

1) In a small saucepan, heat oil over medium heat. Add mustard and cumin seeds. Cover pan. Shake until seeds begin popping.

2) Uncover pan. Add turmeric, salt, and sugar. Remove from heat and let cool for 5 minutes. Add lemon juice and stir. Add carrot and mix thoroughly. "Cover and leave for 30 minutes." If you like top with coriander/cilantro when served.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
57 calories, 2.5 g fat, $0.26

Calculations
½ T oil: 62 calories, 7 g fat, $0.01
1/8 t black mustard seeds: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
1/8 t cumin seeds: negligible calories and fat, $0.05
pinch of ground turmeric: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
1/8 t salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
1/8 t caster (superfine granulated) sugar: 3 calories, 0 g fat, $0.01
¾ T lemon juice: 2 calories, 0 g fat, $0.20
9 oz (about 3 large) carrots, finely grated: 105 calories, 0.6 g fat, $0.45
TOTAL: 172 calories, 7.6 g fat, $0.77
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): 57 calories, 2.5 g fat, $0.26

Fast Food Done Good: Garlicky Broccoli Rabe

It always strikes me as fishy when famous cooks claim they can whip up a ten-course, gourmet-caliber meal in 30 seconds or less. It seems to go against the whole idea that effort produces a proportional result. I’m all for convenience, especially on a weeknight, but yeah – I wonder if truly great dishes must have truly great amounts of time invested in them.

Then, days like Sunday happen and mess me up.

See, I was looking for a side dish to go with Cooking Light's Butternut Squash, Rosemary, and Garlic Lasagna. The lasagna had taken me approximately 4,000 years to make, and I wasn’t up for another mammoth exertion, so its accompaniment had to be easy and ready instantaneously. A quick search brought me to Cooking Light’s Garlicky Broccoli Rabe, which had six cheap ingredients and a 10-minute cooking time. Jumanji!

With the rabe sautéed and the lasagna sufficiently settled, The Boyfriend, me, and two large glasses of Sauvignon Blanc sat for a cozy pre-winter meal. The lasagna, though fairly tasty, disintegrated into noodles and cream almost instantaneously. It was more like thick pasta with white sauce and a few chunks of butternut squash. (The leftovers weren’t great, either. There's still half left five days later.)

The rabe, though? THAT was a keeper. With a touch of heat, just the right amount of bitterness, and all that garlicky scrumptiousness, it was quickly nominated for regular rotation.

So, what do I take away from this experience?

1) I’m wrong a lot.
2) Nope, that’s it.

Cooking Light was (as always) gracious enough to provide calories and fat, so only the price is calculated below.

Garlicky Broccoli Rabe
3 servings – ½ cup each
Adapted from Cooking Light.

1 pound broccoli rabe (rapini), trimmed
1/2 tablespoon olive oil
1 large garlic cloves, thinly sliced
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper

1) Fill a medium bowl with cold water and a couple of ice cubes. Set aside.

2) In a medium saucepan, bring a few cups of water to a boil. Add broccoli rabe and boil about 6 minutes, until it's crisp, but tender. Drain and quickly add broccoli rabe to ice bath. Drain again and chop into bite-sized pieces.

3) In a large skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Add garlic and cook until fragrant (about 30 seconds to 1 minute), stirring frequently. Add broccoli rabe, salt, and peppers and warm through, stirring occasionally. Serve hot.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
67 calories, 2.3 g fat, $0.38

Calculations
1 pounds broccoli rabe (rapini), trimmed: $0.99
1/2 tablespoon olive oil: $0.04
1 large garlic cloves, thinly sliced: $0.05
1/4 teaspoon salt: $0.01
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper: $0.02
1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper: $0.02
TOTAL: $1.13
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): $0.38

The Man Who Ate a Parsnip: Lidia Bastianich's Roasted Root Vegetables

My brother E is an enormous dude. Six feet, three inches tall, he snacks on snow tires and whole goats. His feet hang over the edges of most stairs, but only when he can cram his mile-wide shoulders into the stairwell in the first place. When E’s annoyed with our sister L, he doesn’t yell. He simply picks her up, throws her over his shoulder, and deposits her on the soft cushion of his choosing. It’s a subtle reminder that he's bigger than Russia, and just as capable of maintaining his ground when challenged by smaller, yappier foes.

E didn’t become four times my size by eating bean sprouts and tofu burgers. No, he’s the product of red meat and white starch. I shudder to think of his cholesterol level, but as long as he’s moving Volkswagon Beetles with his bare hands, I won’t question it. (Partly out of politeness and goodwill, but mostly so he doesn't tie my arms in a pretzel.)

Last year, to go with my sister’s Christmas lasagna, I made Lidia Bastianich’s Roasted Root Vegetables. Garlicky and hearty, they’re a good compliment to meat (both lean and not-so-lean), and a nice alternative to heavy, fatty foods like said lasagna. I was excited to serve a Lidia dish to my fam, and was utterly convinced E would pass up every other option for its rooty goodness.

Needless to say, E went straight for the lasagna.

BUT he also took a heaping helping of root veggies. Lo and behold, he kinda liked them, too. He must have. The man ate a leek, dangit! He even wolfed down a parsnip, without having any idea what it was. It was a Christmas miracle.

In the end, E will never be nominated for Veggie Lover of the Year (unless it applies to pizza toppings), but he’s okay with this recipe. It makes me wonder if eggplant, broccoli rabe, or fennel could be in his future. A sister can dream, can’t she?

(Note: The leeks were by far the most expensive items, and there’s a LOT of waste, but the leaves can be saved for chicken stock. In fact, I used ‘em for that very reason last night! BAM!)

Roasted Root Vegetables
Makes 6 gigantic servings
Adapted from Lidia Bastianich.

3 medium leeks (about 10 ounces)
2 large parsnips (about 8 ounces), peeled and cut into 3-inch pieces
3 large carrots (about 8 ounces), peeled and cut into 3-inch pieces
2 large, outer celery stalks, trimmed and cut into 3-inch pieces
6 small red or white new potatoes (about 3/4 pounds), cut in half
3 small yellow onions (about 6 ounces pound), peeled and cut in half through the core
20 large garlic cloves, peeled
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
2 sprigs rosemary
Salt and freshly ground black pepper

1) Preheat oven 400°F. Line a large roasting pan or cookie sheet with aluminum foil. Spray with cooking spray.

2) Chop the darker green stems off the leeks. (Discard or save for broth making.) Cut the remaining white parts in half from top to bottom. Cut off the root ends, "leaving enough of the root core intact to hold the leek halves together." Rinse thoroughly in cold water, making sure you get all the dirt out from between the leaves. (This is very, very important.)

3) In a huge bowl, combine all veggies, garlic, oil, and rosemary. Salt and pepper liberally to taste. Stir thoroughly to combine. Spread everything out in a single layer on the prepared pan. (Note: you may need two.) Roast about 60 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the veggies are browned and tender. Serve hot.

Note: Parsnips can be very thick at the top, and very thin at the bottom. If this is the case with yours, slice the thicker parts into slimmer pieces. This will ensure even cooking.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
200 calories, 7.3 g fat, $0.92

Calculations
3 medium leeks: 163 calories, 0.8 g fat, $1.50
8 oz parsnips: 170 calories, 0.7 g fat, $1.29
3 large carrots: 89 calories, 0.5 g fat, $0.30
2 large, outer celery stalks: 17 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.40
¾ pound small red potatoes: 245 calories, 0.5 g fat, $0.75
6 ounces yellow onion: 72 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.20
20 large garlic cloves: 89 calories, 0.3 g fat, $0.60
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil: 358 calories, 40.5 g fat, $0.24
2 sprigs rosemary: negligible fat and calories, $0.20
Salt and freshly ground black pepper: negligible fat and calories, $0.03
TOTAL: 1203 calories, 7.3 g fat. 43.6 g fat, $5.51
PER SERVING (TOTAL/6): 200 calories, 7. 3 g fat, $0.92

Roasted Sweet Potatoes with Teriyaki and Cilantro: An Exercise in Duh

When I write recipe posts, I usually allot myself about a week to research a dish, see what I have on hand, and give it a shot. This way, if something goes horribly awry, I have a little time to make something else. This was one of those weeks.

Initially, this post was going to be all about the awesome, world-redefining Gnocchi with Mushroom and Thyme Sauce I made last Monday. Sadly, the meal was far from awesome, and not even in the same zip code as world-redefining. The sauce (which wasn’t terrible) had its earthy appeal beaten down by the world’s worst frozen potato dumplings. (Silver Star brand, 16oz bags on sale for $1. DON’T DO IT.) Their gummy grossness was like the recent movies of John Travolta: bland, insulting, and with not enough Samuel L. Jackson. It's back to handmade gnocchi for me.

Instead of dwelling on that UTTER FAILURE OF GOOD SENSE, I moved on, settling on a backup recipe: Spicy Eggplant Puree from the Enchanted Broccoli Forest Cookbook. Thinking it would be another fabulous veggie dip, I whipped up a batch and served it to beloved guests, who were kind of "meh" about it. The puree was uninspiring at best, watery and relatively flavorless at worst. If you’re looking for an eggplant dip, CHG’s baba ghanouj is way better, if I do say so myself (and I do).

Out of options and running out of time, I settled on an old favorite o’ mine: Roasted Sweet Potatoes with Teriyaki and Cilantro. Sweet and salty, it’s another choice Weight Watchers recipe, and further proof they’ve moved way beyond the Cabbage Casseroles Czarinas and Chilled Celery Logs of the old school. (Speaking of which, if you’ve never seen Weight Watchers Recipes from 1974, GO NOW. You won’t be disappointed.)

Unfortunately, the potatoes were inadvertently incinerated.

I left them in the oven a few minutes too long, and each would-be delectable piece was burned just enough to make the dish totally inedible. Instead of robust, rich orange wedges, my yams looked like tanned, wrinkled old man fingers. Tragedy. BUT, I'm going to go ahead and post the recipe anyway (with no picture - too traumatic) because I’ve made this four or five times without any problems.

Please believe me - these turn out nicely. And Friday? I will post a recipe so tongue-pleasing, even the tongueless will cry with joy.

Roasted Sweet Potatoes with Teriyaki and Cilantro
Makes 4 servings
Adapted from Weight Watchers.

6 T (about 1/3 cup) teriyaki sauce
3 large sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into ½-in. chunks
6 T (about 1/3 cup) fresh cilantro
Cooking spray

1) Heat oven to 400°F. Line a cookie sheet with tin foil and spray with cooking spray.

2) In a medium bowl, combine teriyaki sauce and cilantro. Pour in sweet potatoes and stir to coat.

3) Place sweet potatoes on the prepped cookie sheet and roast 35 or 40 minutes, stirring occasionally. For the love of Pete, do not overcook.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
152 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.82

Calculations
6 T teriyaki sauce: 120 calories, 0 g fat, $0.45
2 large sweet potatoes: 486 calories, 0.7 g fat, $1.65
6 T (about 1/3 cup) fresh cilantro: 2 calorie, 0 g fat, $0.68
Cooking spray: negligible fat and calories, $0.05
TOTAL: 608 calories, 0.7 g fat, $3.28
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 152 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.82

Puree Madness: Seinfeld vs. Chase Lapine. (Also, Roasted Asparagus.)

Did anyone catch Jerry Seinfeld on Letterman the other night? He was defending his wife Jessica against charges of “vegetable plagiarism.” CNN has a rundown, but here’s a quick summary: earlier this month, Mrs. Seinfeld published an Oprah-endorsed cookbook about hiding vegetable puree in kid-friendly foods. Missy Chase Lapine (a.k.a. the Sneaky Chef) released a similar cookbook in April, and was perturbed by the apparent appropriation of her idea. Jerry, ticked by the accusations leveled against Mrs. Seinfeld, fired back on Late Show in response. He was inexcusably mean.

Frankly, the whole debacle seems silly to me, not least because secret purees are a terrible message for kids in the first place. (“Hey, Johnny! You never have to learn to eat healthily! We’ll just stick some peas in a cookie, and everything will be great! Also – don't ever work hard. It won’t get you anywhere.”)

But.

Imagine if Jerry had done a standup routine, only to find a 25-year-old telling near-identical jokes a week later. How would he react? My guess is anger, then dismissal. That’s probably happened to him tons of times.

What if that same kid was making millions off those bits? Even if he claimed he had never heard of Jerry Seinfeld, I have a feeling lawyers would be involved, but quick.

Cooking is a lot like comedy that way. There's no real Intellectual Property Law in either. So, no matter how wonderfully original you think your joke or recipe might be, if Patton Oswalt or Wylie Dufresne beat you to it, you drop the subject and/or credit them profusely. Otherwise, it's hacky. Letting go is honorable, and it’s what Jessica Seinfeld should have done.

What about her defense? Well, maybe puree-ing has been around since God said, "hola!" to Moses. Maybe her puree-based cookbook was totally her own idea, and she didn’t think one existed beforehand (...right). Maybe her recipes are phenomenal, and she deserves a special place in heaven as St. Peter’s personal sous chef. But once she realized someone had put out a nearly identical tome six months prior, she should have backed off the Look-What-I-Created-I’m-a-Genius angle (which, I saw her Oprah appearance, and … yeah.), if not the whole project entirely.

So, before siding with the Seinfelds, think of where Missy Chase Lapine is coming from. She might not believe her idea was stolen (just cribbed). She might think she ought to be given credit for a cooking method she basically put on the map. She might think a little-known author to has no chance in hell against an Oprah-and-Letterman-backed star’s wife with millions of dollars behind her. She DOES have every reason to complain, and Jerry Seinfeld should know better than to rag on someone who has zero way of defending herself.

(For a slightly more profane, gloriously to-the-point analysis of the situation, check the Onion.)

(For a long, gloriously drawn-out analysis, there's Jezebel.)

That said, uh – LOOK! ASPARAGUS! Whee! I’ll keep this super-short since I’ve written a novel-and-a-half already.

Roasted Asparagus with Balsamic Brown Butter has an astronomical rating from Cooking Light, and is one of the only CL sides I’ve seen to receive more than 100 reviews. We tried it last week with some chicken, and it went beautifully. I halved the recipe since it’s just the Boyfriend and I, and once again, Cooking Light provided the nutritional information, so the calculations aren’t listed here. The price – that’s another story.

Roasted Asparagus with Balsamic Browned Butter
4 servings – 5 spears each
Adapted from Cooking Light.

20 asparagus spears, trimmed (about 1 pound)
Cooking spray
1/8 teaspoon kosher salt
1/16 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon low-sodium soy sauce
½ teaspoon balsamic vinegar

1) Preheat oven to 400°F. Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil and spray with cooking spray.

2) Place asparagus on cookie sheet in a single layer. Spray with cooking spray or olive oil. Season with salt and pepper. Roast for about 12 minutes, until tender.

3) While asparagus is cooking, cook butter in a small pan over medium heat until lightly browned, about 3 minutes, occasionally stirring or shaking pan. Kill heat. Add soy sauce and vinegar. Stir. Pour over asparagus, "tossing well to coat." Serve.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
45 calories, 3 g fat, $0.39

Calculations
20 asparagus spears, trimmed (about 1 pound): $1.76
Cooking spray: $0.03
1/8 teaspoon kosher salt: $0.01
1/16 teaspoon black pepper: $0.01
1 tablespoons butter: $0.09
1 teaspoons low-sodium soy sauce: $0.03
½ teaspoon balsamic vinegar: $0.02
TOTAL: $1.95
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): $0.39